some time ago i introduced the phrase "food pact" to my friends as a shorthand for "i'll go make and eat food if you also make and eat food" and ever since then ive just started incorporating more pacts into my life. stay hydrated pact. stretch break pact. stop doomscrolling and go to bed pact. we need to bring this back in vogue more people should be making pacts imo
the best part of this is when you ask "who wants to do a shower pact" and you get a half dozen friends all rolling up saying "the pact is sealed". faustian behavior
i love being sober and talking to drunk people at parties cause i asked a guy “if you were a wizard what kind of spells would you cast” and i know he wasnt lying when he said “summon creatures”
fully sober and lucid walking down the street googling "is it normal to get a haircut" "am i allowed to get a haircut" "is the guy at the barber shop going to be mad at me when i go in there"
sorry
I work cybersecurity, this is like half my job.
Yeah, this is just cybersecurity in a nutshell.
funny phrases to use when something goes wrong instead of jokingly saying "i'm going to kms":
- i'm going to kill god
- i'm going to delete my blog
- i'm going to explode
- i'm going to blow up this entire website
- i'm going to become the joker
- this is going to be my villain origin story
feel free to add on
THIS ONE WINS
oh you know
What is homestuck? Is it like goncharov?
god. what a fucking way to phrase it
my tummy hurts but at least i have a medical professional (baby cat) accompanying me
hi baby cat here. we hvae to cut you in to ten million pieces with my claws forever
are yhou sure about this doctor
"bUt i tHiNk mAKeUp is fUn" that's nice. i would like to be allowed to exist without it without being socioeconomically punished for that choice but what's important to focus on here is that you're just having the funnest time ever
This doesn’t happen unless you’re so ugly that you need makeup to look normal (in which case this post is a bit of a self-own)
cool misogyny! i forgot that being beautiful is the only moral way for a woman to exist. what an Epic Own on behalf of a multibillion dollar industry!!!!
The most egregious biphobia is everyone insisting Taylor swift is bi for no reason like what did we do to you people
“if no art makes you feel anything, make your own art and feel something” is too raw of a line to have come from a jenna marbles video of her painting a rainbow/polka dot seahorse saying “it’s seahorse time” on a denim jacket
Why do you people feel profound thought has to come from high places? The gutter looks at the stars too
not only did you prove your point, but you showed an example of it in the same sentence
Yknow tumblr was changing the logo monthly for a little while there. Are they just keeping the one that looks like a period tracker now. It's been there suspiciously long